The Question that got me Coaching

I had been a few years in a role that wasn't right for me, the role wasn't inherently bad - it was just bad-fit for me.

I felt I was lacking purpose and my work wasn't lighting my fire, more than that it was draining me the longer I trudged on. But, I had spent years to get where I was. How could I throw that all away, what would I do instead? I felt stuck and trapped in indecision of my making.

One day on LinkedIn I saw a post from a senior leader in my organization showing he had qualified as a leadership coach. After doing some research into what a coach was, I hesitantly asked for a meeting with him to see if he could help - not really sold on this whole "coaching" idea if I'm completely honest with you.

Later that week I met with Mike Brennan, my first coach, who showed me the skill of coaching and the journey a couple of questions can bring you on. The most impactful question, one I didn't realize at the time would set in motion my journey as a coach, was;

"What do you want your loved ones to say about you at your funeral?"

Tactfully, followed by;

"What would they say about you if it was today?"

The question is simple - but not easy to answer honestly. I spent two weeks journaling an answer, then coming back and crossing out the parts that were not fully truthful and trying to be more honest with myself the next time around. Until I got to an answer that I could stand over. This process took me through feelings of fear, sadness, worry and more, until I eventually landed on a sense of satisfaction. This was step #1 of a multi year journey to a complete career and industry pivot, but more on that in another blog.

This question, which I have used with many clients, is perfect for successful people who have a huge amount of impact to give, folks who are willing to be of service and be there for their people. But lately, they feel they are not able to show their full potential and really excel.

This reflection can support you in becoming unstuck and give clarity on your next step. It doesn't have to be the best step (it probably won't be) but a mediocre step that can be improved over time is better than no step at all. This strategy helps you get clearer on the type of man or woman you want to be. Then design your life around that vision. Architect a career that enables you to be that person, create a community that supports you. Use that vision as a north star for your decisions.

It doesn't mean it's an easy journey, mine took years and required plenty of sacrifice, But I was already sacrificing by staying in a career that drained me. Why not sacrifice for something truly meaningful.

As Jordan Peterson says, "You should be afraid of taking risks and pursuing something meaningful, but you should be more afraid of staying where you are if it's making you miserable."